Too Much Paint
by kaileytmarie
Summary: The Decepticons might not hate humanity quite as much as we thought. Some of them actually enjoy human games! Others... Not so much. (oneshot)


**I'm tired, man. I just... I don't know.**

If he were a human he'd probably have been crying or broken out in hives by now.

If he were a human.

Which he wasn't.

At all.

Instead, he was sneaking from corridor to corridor as quietly as possible; staying close enough to Starscream that even looking in his general direction was awkward.

Said Seeker's constant wing twitching spoke volumes of just how uncomfortable he was under such circumstances.

But Knock Out didn't care. All that was on his mind was keeping a decent, living shield in front of his body at all times. Unfortunately, Breakdown was busy inspecting a mine, so the Aston Martin had settled for good old, scraggly Starscream.

He hated everything.

"Could you please not stand so close?" Starscream hissed after being bumped into for the umpteenth time.

Knock Out frowned. "If you would just walk like any normal mech instead of scuttling about and stopping at the most random times, we might not be having this problem."

They heard a noise and froze.

Starscream quickly stepped around the next corner and disappeared into a small storage room. Knock Out followed, just barely making it in before the door sealed shut.

They listened as heavy footfalls echoed down the corridor they had just been in. The sound stopped for a few second then continued on and slowly began to fade away.

Starscream's wings anxiously jerked, scuffing the medic's paint.

"Watch it!" Knock Out whispered harshly.

Starscream glared at him. "If you wouldn't stand so close to me you would have no issue with my wings."

"We're in a closet!" spat the medic, perhaps a bit too loudly. "What am I supposed to do? Meld into the wall?"

The Seeker slapped a servo over the medic's mouth, silencing him.

_Thud. Thud. Thud._

The sound faded again.

Starscream's wings bristled and flapped quickly. Knock Out cocked his head at the action. "Why do you keep doing that?" he whispered.

"I'm a Seeker."

"Oh, gee, I hadn't noticed," came the sarcastic response.

The flier grumbled and opened the door. He scanned the corridor and tentatively took a step out. After he was sure that there was no one around he turned back to Knock Out and jumped. The grounder had, again, gotten as close as possible to his "living shield," meaning that his and Starscream's faceplates ended up far too close for comfort.

"Stop doing that!"

"Stop randomly turning around!"

Starscream growled. "As I was saying, Seeker wings are sensitive to even the slightest changes in the atmosphere around us. They are constantly monitoring the barometric pressure, air currents, wind speed and force of gravity's pull on our frames allowing us to calculate needed adjustments for spontaneous maneuvers without losing a moment's time. Your constant crowding is disrupting my sensors and making it quite difficult to focus on the task at hand." Starscream turned away, mumbling, "I keep thinking Lord Megatron is behind me…"

They crept down the hall, attentive to even the smallest of noises.

"So, my presence rivals that of our liege? How intriguing."

Starscream rolled his optics. This would be a very long night.

* * *

><p><em>Thud. Thud. Thud.<em>

_ Tap._

Megatron spun around, weapon raised and leveled at his pursuer.

He blinked. Relaxed. "Ah, Soundwave. I had hoped you might be Starscream."

The CMO tilted his helm slightly.

"No, I haven't seen either of our quarry for some time now. I admit I had not expected them to be quite so proficient at hiding from us." He chuckled darkly. "I would have though my second would be attempting to barter a truce by now."

Soundwave glanced over his shoulder, tapping his chest.

"Lazerbeak?" Megatron grinned wickedly. "Excellent idea, Soundwave. After all, it is an extension of you. And far be it from me to break the rules we have established for our little sport."

The minicon dispatched from its carrier and soared silently down the corridor, disappearing with the curve of the ship.

_Tap. Tap… Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap._

Megatron chuckled again, just barely catching glimpse of Knock Out disappearing into the Vehicon barracks. He and Soundwave strode for the door, weapons at their ready.

Lazerbeak fluttered back into view.

The ex-gladiator typed in a code on the command pad beside the door, grinning darkly. He noticed Soundwave begin to tense slightly at the moment that the metal began to slide into the wall.

He instinctually took a step back at the CMO's reaction and just barely missed having a canister of bright, green paint dumped on his helm.

Starscream shot past them in his jet mode with Knock Out speeding closely behind.

Megatron growled furiously and opened fire.

Unfortunately, they had already rounded the first corner and were quickly gaining ground.

Fortunately, Lazerbeak had pursued immediately, allowing Soundwave to keep track of their whereabouts.

Soundwave tilted his helm toward his leader.

"Find them," the warlord snarled.

* * *

><p>"Why am I always the one to suffer the inflictions of not only Megatron's wrath, but his curiosity as well?" Starscream groaned.<p>

It had taken a few minutes for them to lose Soundwave's little pet, but they had managed. Now he and Knock Out sat amongst the energon cubes in the engine room, anxiously waiting for their master to grow bored and call this whole ordeal off.

Knock Out flicked a random bolt into one of the cubes, watched it roll back toward him, flicked it again.

"Must you do that?"

The Medic shrugged. "It's better than wallowing in self-pity."

"I'm not wallowing."

"Oh, no. Of course not."

_Flick. Ting. Flick. Ting. Flick._

"Stop."

_Ting. Flick. Ting. Flick. Ting._

"Knock Out," the Seeker hissed.

"So, is it my charisma or exquisitely shiny finish that makes me the epitome of grandeur on this ship?"

_Flick. Ting. Flick. Ting._

Starscream stared blankly. Blinked. "What?"

Knock Out looked at the Seeker as though he had just remembered he was there. He grinned.

Starscream shifted uncomfortably.

The grounder stuck a servo behind Starscream's back. "How many?"

Starscream stared at him. "What?"

Knock Out's grin widened. "How many, oh sensory gifted one?"

"I have no idea what you're-"

"Your wings."

"What about them?"

"Can you tell how many?"

Starscream glared.

"Well?"

A pause. "Three."

Starscream couldn't help the smirk that etched its way onto his faceplate at the look of awe the medic was giving him. Naturally, of course, his wings would be able to detect the movement of the servo behind him and deduce exactly how many digits were waving about.

"Not gonna lie, Starscream, I'm impressed. Now back to my earlier question…"

Starscream frowned. There went that moment of glory.

"What would you say is my most endearing quality?"

"I… am not sure I have any desire to have this conversation."

Knock Out frowned back. "Well, Breakdown's not here at the moment and you were the one who got us into this mess so I think it's fair that you indulge me-"

"I was the one who got us into this!?" the Seeker spat. "You were the idiot who not only decided that learning human games could somehow be entertaining, but brought the idea up to Megatron and all but begged him to give the fleshy sport a try!"

Knock Out rolled his optics. "And you're the one who decided a little gossip about our illustrious master _while in the same room as him_ was a good idea!"

"I wasn't even being serious!" Starscream yelled, throwing his arms in the air dramatically and jumping to his pedes. "It was a joke! How was I supposed to know he was insecure about the size of his servos?"

Knock Out stood. "And just what made you think that comparing his hands with the oddly disproportioned size of his helm was a good idea?" His voice steadily raised in volume until he found himself yelling. "It wasn't even funny!"

"It was hilarious!" Starscream screeched back, flicking a talon across the Medic's chestplate.

Knock Out gasped at the hideous scratch corrupting his paintjob. "My finish!" He glared back at the Seeker. "You'll pay for that, Starscream!"

"You two are pathetic."

Knock Out and Starscream jumped, knocking down a few stacks of cubes in the process. "Don't do that!" the medic spat.

"Sorry, doc," said the hulking, blue mech with a laugh. He started restacking the energon with a hint of a smile on his faceplate.

"Oh, wipe that grin off, Breakdown. This is by no means amusing."

Starscream grumbled to himself. He didn't like his subordinates calling him pathetic. Not one bit.

Breakdown looked down at his friend, smiled and offered him a pre-waxed buffing cloth. He had learned early on that keeping cleaning supplies on himself at all times would ensure him staying on Knock Out's good side. In times of war you wanted the medics to be your friend and not your foe.

Knock Out accepted the cloth, sat and immediately went to work on his finish.

"Do you always have one of those with you?" Starscream asked.

Breakdown studied the floor nervously. His voice quieted. "Um… Yes, Commander."

Starscream glared at the larger mech as he looked him over questioningly.

Breakdown shifted uncomfortably.

"Lay off him, Screamer," Knock Out said casually, not bothering to look up from his work.

Starscream huffed. "You don't find it strange?"

"I ordered him to keep specific supplies on hand," he lied. "He is _my_ assistant after all."

The Seeker rolled his optics.

"Now, Breakdown," Knock Out crooned, pushing himself to his pedes. "You wouldn't happen to know where our liege might be hiding his flag, would you?"

"You're still playing that? Lord Megatron went for a flight a few hours ago. I figured the game was over." He turned to finish stacking the energon.

Starscream jumped at the ex-Stunticon, grabbing his shoulder cannon and yanking his him around and down to his optic level. "All this time he's been out flying while we've been hiding in this ridiculous storage room and you didn't think to tell us?" he shrieked.

Breakdown clenched his fists, hoping that Starscream wouldn't catch the slight quiver in his servos. His optics darted between the Seeker and his friend. "S-sorry, Commander. I figured Knock Out was out racing since I hadn't seen him around."

Starscream growled, digging his talons into the brute's armor. Breakdown winced.

Knock Out stepped between the two and gave the Seeker a decent jab in the chest with his elbow. His smirk broadened at the surprised gasp he received, though his optics burned with a rage Starscream had not seen before. "Now, now, Starscream," he purred with a venomous undertone. "It was all a simple misunderstanding. Breakdown had every logical reason to make the assumptions he did." He glanced at his partner and offered a quick, confident smile. Breakdown straightened a bit, stood a little taller. "Megatron has probably grown bored with this silly, little game and is ready to call it quits. Let's just go back to our posts and continue living out our exuberating existence."

Starscream huffed and stomped to the door, shoving his underlings out of the way.

Knock Out shrugged and grinned proudly to himself. He started to follow the Air Commander, but a rather strong servo attached itself to his arm and held him firmly in place.

The medic looked up at his friend in confusion. Breakdown gave a brief nod towards the exit and shook his helm.

Starscream continued to grumble to himself as he waited for the door to slide open. Stupid Breakdown. Stupid Knock Out. Stupid Megatron. Stupid human games.

The door's gears whined as they began to pull the metal panels apart.

Wait.

Something was wrong. Why had Knock Out and Breakdown not followed him to the door? Why was Breakdown acting so nervous?

He glanced over his shoulder.

Why was Knock Out wearing such a stupid grin-

"Uh-oh."

The door slid open and immediately Starscream was drenched in a spray of pink paint!

His wings drooped, his shoulders dropped and he glared at the weapon in his master's hand.

Megatron laughed heartily and the sight before him. Soundwave approached to his left and waved a flag triumphantly in the air.

"Ah, paintball. Who would have thought the humans were capable of coming up with such a game?" he belted between laughs. "Wouldn't you care to share in your teammate's fate, Doctor?"

Knock Out, who had taken shelter behind the frame of his hulking friend, peeked out at his master and said, "If it's all the same to you, Lord Megatron, that's a bit too much paint for my taste."

* * *

><p><strong>What even?<strong>


End file.
